November 2020
I was actively working out and living on my own and working. Living the independent adult life, hanging with friends, doing my thing. Because I was logging my weight-loss at the time, I realized overnight that I suspiciously gained 10+ pounds. A fluke? Maybe. I slept on it. The next night, I went to weigh myself again. Another 10+ pounds. That can’t be right. My mom has been a nurse since I was a teenager, so of course my first phone call is to her and immediately there was panic in her voice.

Get to the ER, NOW.

The demand sent a flush of anxiety through me, and I rushed to the ER. They handed me some diuretics to make me pee more and then sent me home. The next night, I weighed myself again. The weight continued to climb. However, now it started to feel uncomfortable. This time, I went to the ER and they did more than just an exam. They ran tests and saw my Creatinine was absolutely out of control, and indication that my kidneys were injured or failing. Over the next few weeks, as I continued to be tested and dance in and out of the hospital, my weight climbed upwards of up to 430 pounds. (IMAGE FOR PROOF, SORRY I’M ALMOST NAKED). Fluid was overwhelming my body both inside and outside. Now that I’m down to 280, I have unbelievable stretch marks all over my body as a constant reminder.

The next few months are a bit of a blur, but a chest catheter is inserted into my heart for emergency dialysis. I do dialysis for 4 times a week, 5 hours each session, just to ensure the toxins in my body don’t kill me and the fluid in my body can be removed so that it doesn’t internally drown me. Throughout this period, I continue to battle multiple infections, low blood pressure, and nausea that can keep me from eating for days at a time. I do my very best to try and clock in amidst all of this, but unfortunately, sometimes my body just says, "No." 

After surviving that ugly first wave of COVID (Spent months and hours before being put on a ventilator, started to finally recover. Literally had discussions with my doctor about end-of-life care), SNOW-VID (where I was home at my apartment alone, on a breathing machine and praying that the power never went out. It never did.) I finally decided to move back home with my mom and brother.

A lot of my belongings unfortunately were left behind, and/or sold to try to help pay for my bills. This is where I finally gave in and started a GoFundMe. I hate asking for help, but even now, it’s still up because I have mountains and mountains of medical debt now.

Over the years, they surgically created a fistula in my left arm so that I can access dialysis easier. The medications across the board slowly kicked my ass, but I’ve hung in there. I eventually made it onto the transplant wait-list, where eventually someday they will call me with a match and I’ll head into the hospital to receive my new life. Unfortunately, the wait expectation for that call is approximately 9-10 years for someone my age and blood type. So, until that happens, I have to persevere with the dialysis, the appointments, still juggle a Full-Time job and somehow make it all work long enough to see that transplant day.

Recently, they discovered signs that my heart has started to weaken, which is common with dialysis. It’s a life-support system, but it’s extremely exhausting on the heart. I also discovered when I died and was revived this past September, that I have something called arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy. The scary thing is that most don’t discover they have it until a post-mortem diagnosis, but a cardiac MRI that was requested found this in my heart after all and now shortly, we’ll be making moves to take precautions against sudden death, including an ICD.

If you’ve read all of this, and ever have any questions, feel free to reach out. I’m an open book, and I don’t mind talking about any of it (except the Covid period, unfortunately I have developed diagnosed PTSD and cannot speak about it without breaking into tears. Apologies.)

I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you for your valuable time.